I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
