i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
