her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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