I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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