So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
