can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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