She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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