it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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