Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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