Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
