Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
