We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
