thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
