i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
