dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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