Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
