Can i not drive my cunt home
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
