goodnight i made you a song goodbye
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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