If i come over, it means nothing
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
