fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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