Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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