And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
