What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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