don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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