she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize