I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
