I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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