You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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