I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
