hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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