Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He felt like a one man threesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
