Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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