I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize