Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
