the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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