I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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