College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
