Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
