real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
