So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
