Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
