I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
