Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
