Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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