id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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