Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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