Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There's even glitter on my cock...
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