So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
