Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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