my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
