i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
