To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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