I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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