ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
