I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
