Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize