The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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