Its about making memories worth repressing
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
