who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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